I'm Wide Awake

Yeah so this Graves' Disease is seriously messing with my sleep and me functioning . I couldn't remember my password to my blog and I forgot how to spell some words . If I were to go to sleep right now, I'd be up again in less than six hours sleepy again but wouldn't be able to go back to sleep . I used to go to sleep at 10pm and wake up at 8 am . I miss those good ole days . You guys don't know how to feels to be sleep deprived and you have to work on stuff at the same time . I forgot how to spell my name today when I was putting it in my scrapbook my aunt got me . I felt so flustered and just embarassed that I couldn't spell MY OWN NAME ! Well I go to the doctor's office tomorrow and hopefully he'll give me something to help me sleep for atleast 8 hours, I need all the sleep I can get . My birthday is in 10 days, yeah budddddddyyyyy and I have NO idea what I want to do either -_- . I was at my grandma's house yesterday and I fell asleep on the glass table and woke up quickly with some disorientation, that's just how tired I am . I'm so ready for this to go away and I have quite a few views on my blog now so I know someone knows my story and what i'm going through . I try to blog everyday but it's hard when it's three other people in the house . I just want to be a NORMAL teenager again . Going out with friends, partying, going to the movies, walking around the park, and if I had a boyfriend, go on dates . But instead of laying on the couch or in the bed sick feeling horrible and sorry for myself . I hate to talk about my Graves' Disease to people because I feel like i'm bothering them and i'm getting on their nerves but some people need to realize I can't do everything I used to . I tried to take out the trash and my arm almost fell off ! That's very unusual for a person like me who could used to take out the trash in heels, yep you saw it right, HEELS ! I can't stand up for a long time without my legs hurting or getting craps, just holding up this laptop to take the picture above made my arms feel like I've been lifting boxes in a warehouse for twenty hours straight ! I can't ride my bike for a block without feeling like my heart is going to burst in my chest, I can't run without passing out, and I can't walk for a long time either . I still don't have my P.E. credit but hopefully Sgt. Major will let me take JROTC and he won't be as hard on me since I can't do everything everyone else can . It makes me feel like a misfit and an outcast when I can't do something . I was in my food and nutrition class and my hands were shaking so bad, I couldn't even ice a cake and people were just staring at me like what's wrong with her, this was before it was known to anyone but a few close friends . But you know what, that cake was still good ! I brought it home and tore it up :D ! Mrs. King is one of the sweetest teachers you will ever meet in your life but some people take advantage to her and don't treat her right . It makes me mad . But anyways it's currently 6:49 in the morning and I might be going to Tifa's church today and spending the night if mama lets me :D . I miss her and we HAVE to take pictures ! I have 16 more blank pages for pictures in my scrapbook and i'm ready to fill it up with pictures from my senior year . You all pray for me please, I need all the prayer I can get, this disease really is something serious and I really can't say that enough to save my life ..
Wednesday August 8, 2012 6:51 a.m. CDT