One && Only

I am soooo sorry I haven't been on here ! I've been so busy since school started back last week . I'm pretty discouraged about school right now because no matter how hard I try, I can't concentrate on my work . After I was done with my accounting work, I decided to look up the side effects of having a HYPO thyroid . The side effects were: coarse and thinning hair, dry skin(check) , brittle nails(check) , yellowish tint to the skin, slow body movements(check), cold skin(check) , inability to tolerate cold(check) , feeling tired, sluggish, or weak(check), memory problems(check), depression, problems concentrating(check), constipation(check), heavyor irregular menstrual periods that may last longer than 5 to 7 days(........), modest weight gain, ofter 10 lbs(check), swelling of the arms, hands, legs, and feet(check), hoarseness(check), and muscle aches and cramps(check) . So i'm pretty sure that my thyroid is going hypo right now . I feel so sick right now :( . My sinuses are draining, the pollen count is extra high, and I just feel like falling out on this keyboard . I feel like complete and utter crap -_- . I've been having some crazy dreams lately too . But last night's dream was sooo beautiful, I woke up crying haha :'D . Sometimes I find it hard to get happy even when i'm trying . It seems like the only things that help are music, smiling, and laughing . It's hard to make yourself happy . People always complain about having bad days but they've NEVER experienced a day in my life .. I am completely obsessed with the song One && Only by Adele . I love that woman's voice !! Lol well anyways, i'm about to try and take a little nap . I go back to Dr. Ahmed the 13th of next month I believe . I really don't think I'll end up making it to school tomorrow but I will be talking to the principal at school Monday morning about my problems concentrating and my thyroid condition as soon as the bell rings . I really hope she understands and she'll cut me a little slack . This year is VERY important . I need my GPA to be high and I need to take my ACT test again . God please help me and be with me :D . By the way, I'd like to say hey to my new Phillipine viewer so umm hiiiiiii ;) .
Thursday August 30, 2012 8:15 CDT
P.S. Go bulldogs !! Win that football game tonight pleaseeeee !

Be True To Who YOU Are

Well first of all, I took a looooooooong nap earlier and I can't sleep, it's after midnight, and I have church in the morning . Nice combination huh ? I'm currently sitting here having a conversation with one of my bestest guy friends in the whole wideeee world A.j. He doesn't know how to take compliments by the way, lol :) . The song "Who You Are" by Jessie J is my new obsession ! I love the lyrics "seeing is decieving, dreaming is believing, it's okay not to be okay . Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart . tears don't mean your losing, everybody's bruising, just be true to who you are ".  I heard it on Step Up 3 and I HAD to have it !! I wikipedia-ed that movie so quick !! Lol . Beverly told me I type fast so she could see me in an office . I can NOT sit down for eight hours everyday, she know i'm too hyper for that -_- . Ooh and I like that song "One and Only" by Adele . That woman has some fie singing skills . I wish I could hit notes like that :( . Well I go back to my thyroid doctor on September 13th I believe ! He wants to have more bloodwork done to make sure my thyroid activity is still decreasing like it's supposed to so he can decide how much thyroid supplement hormones I'll need . I'm tired of hearing big words like that lol . Supplement, i'm surprised I remembered how to spell it . Yay me ^.^ !! I had a roast beef sandwich and curly fries from Arby's today and it was good, even though I forgot to order a drink -_- . I'm so ready to go to  a football game and see all my friends especially the ones on the football team . I'll probably go with Qwanna or Tiffanie if they go or my mommy will drop me off :D haha . I'm 17 and still getting dropped off places by my mom, sad right ? I'm just kidding ! I'll never outgrow her <3 . I've decided that i'm going to NWSCC to take their medical program so I go ahead and get phlebotomy (drawing blood from people) out of the way while i'm already there . I'm really excited about my future ! Today I realized that I have got to stop being afraid of everything and just go for stuff sometimes even though it's hard ! I respect strong woman, esecially mothers, they go through some REAL stuff and I do mean REAL . What other person or thing do you know that can carry something inside of them for 9 months, love it will everything they are, and never give up on them . That's love right there . Over the past few months, I've been holding stuff in and keeping it to myself . I hate telling people stuff because it's like they ALWAYS seem to judge me . That's not their job to judge me, it's God's job !! I think it's time to tell certain people how I actually feel and it's going to be EXTREMELY hard but I have to get it off my chest, otherwise it's just going to keep stressingme out over and over again and I don't need it . I've been through enough this year already . Have you ever felt like something can't get worse than it already is ? Trust me, I've been there ..
Sunday August 26, 2012 12:33 a.m. CDT

Everything You See, Ain't Always What It Seems ..

Well today was a pretty good day at school until I got to one of my classes . Two of my classmates decided to make negative comments about me saying I was never at school last year and I didn't learn anything . I wanted to holler and say "Excuse me ? You would think that by us being SENIORS you would've grown up by now ! But I guess I was wrong, for both of your information, I have a thyroid disease, i'm anemic, and I have a weak immune system . So you can drop the bull and get the f on with the bull !! It's my senior year and i'm not with it . You need to grow and get real because right now neither of you have a life with your loud obnoxious selves !!!!! " . But I kept my cool because I know i'm better than them and I always will . I actually have college offers and I'll actually be attending colleges . Not applying for 50 colleges until one actually wants me . Yeah I don't have a license and I don't drive but I have my reasons . I might not be the coolest person in the world but i'm real and I have one of the biggest hearts . I always try to help people and I never understood the purpose of talking about someone or discussing someone else's life when you know NOTHING about them . Stay in your own lane ! It's not cute nor attractive to talk about people and God doesn't like any ugly . I'll let Him handle that because i'm through . Life is too short and I have too much going on to worry about petty irrelevant individuals like that . I'm me and that's all I can be and who I choose to be . I'll never change for anybody and I don't intend to . I was born this way . People are going to talk about you until the day you die and some people are so petty, they'll still talk about you when your dead . You have to rise above it all and overcome it to reach your full potential and that's what i'm going to do . When people try to pull you down, that just lets you know that your already above them :D .
Wednesday August 22, 2012 8:43 p.m. CDT

First Day of School

Well the first day of school was pretty good . I have very easy classes this semester and next semester . My senior year is going to be a breeze ! The only thing is I don't have any classes with Tifa :( or my other friend :D . But hopefully I'll get to hang out with both of them outside of school . Tiffany's birthday is in 22 days and I have no idea what to get her for her birthday :/ .I was thinking about getting her some new gauges or a lip ring since she's supposed to be getting one for her 18th birthday . She's not going to want me to get her anything but she bought me something for my birthday and put a dollar down my shirt like I was a stripper and I couldn't reach it haha :) . We still haven't named our teddy bear and we're open to ideas right now . For some reason, everyone keeps said Ted, or Teddy . The bear is pink with polka dots ! We don't want a generic name -_- , we want something unique like us :D . I've had a lot of stuff going through my mind right now, especially something in particular . I have a lot of decisions to make and I have to make a certain one fast because nothing last forever . I think it's funny how you ask God for a sign and he gives you one but you still don't know how to answer the question or how to go about the situation . I guess it all takes time . Right now my favorite songs are: Payphone by Maroon 5, Wide Awake by Katy Perry, Scream by Usher, Lemme See by Usher ft. Rick Ross, One More Night by Maroon 5, and International Love by Pitbull and Chris Brown . Just to put this out there, Adam Levine, the lead singer of Maroon 5, is extremely adorable . I mean look at him ! :

Well maybe it's just me lol . David Beckham and Chicharito are adorableeee too . I guess I have a thing for white boys, Italians, and Mexicans haha . Well this year i'm more focused on my schoolwork rather than boys as usual . I need to do what I have to do before I try to include a relationship in this whole process . This is the most important school year of my high school . I love this part in Katy Perry's song "Wide Awake" when she says: God knows that I tried seeing the bright side, i'm not blind anymore . For some reason that part just got to me . Maybe it's because I feel the same way she does . I used to always see the negative in everything and I do mean EVERYTHING . Oh and by the way, I pulled a muscle in my back and it hurts like OMG !!!! I need to invest in going to a spa and doing something about this because I can't function in class like this . Well anyways I have school in the morning so I'll post something tomorrow if I have time . Right now I can honestly say I love my life !! But there's just one thing missing ...
Monday August 20, 2012 9:40 p.m. CDT

Senior Year baby !!

Well tomorrow is the first day of my senior year, woooooooooohoooooooo !! I'm actually kind of excited to see my friends . I had an AMAZING birthday yesterday . Note to self, don't let Tiffany text at your house anymore !! Tiffany is a crazy person but she did get me this prettiful shirt for my birthday ! :

I HAVE to love Tifa even if she is crazy . She's always been the one here for me 24/7 though and we know each other's stories and what we've been through . She's my #1 <3 . Well i'm sitting here on facebook and eating some leftover Pizza Hut pizza from my birthday yesterday . My thyroid is beginning to go hypo and I've had a few side effects . Like dry skin and I do mean DRY skin, not being able to stand being cold, brittle nails, constipation, and having trouble thinking clearly . It's pretty frustrating after awhile . I don't like feeling like this but I know that one day it'll get better . I actually don't feel as bad as I used to but I am getting the soreness back in my neck but it's anything serious, it's just side effects . I've also had this cough for a couple of days . When I cough, it sounds like I have tuberculosis and it's hurts my chest sooooo bad . And around 2:21 this morning, I woke up OUT of my sleep with this horrible chest pain like I was having a heart attack ! My stomach was hurting, I got hot, and I couldn't walk without bending over . I don't know what's wrong or what caused it but it was the worst pain and feeling I have EVER had . I NEVER want to feel like that again . Church was pretty good today and my brother Lorenzo got baptized ! I was happy for him . Well anyways I have some things to do so I'll post laterrrrrrr :) . May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope - Romans 15:13
Sunday August 19, 2012 3:01 p.m. CDT

Good News ? I Think So !

Well the nurse at my doctor's office called the other day and informed me that my bloodwork looked good and my thyroid activity was decreasing and it looks very good . I was EXTRA happy lol . I'm actually starting to feel better but I kinda feel like i'm gettinga cold today . I keep coughing, my eyes are itching, and I have a tickle in my throat, it feels so wrong :/ haha . Well anyways ... Guess who's turning 17 tomorrow ??? Okay, okay, okay, it's me ! But the weird thing is, my friends seem more excited than I am .. Weird huh ? I don't even know what I want or what I want to do . All I know is that I want some CAKKKKEEEEEEE !! Haha but i'm dead serious though -_- . On another note, when I came on here to write on this, it told me I had people from RUSSIA AND the NETHERLANDS viewing MY blog !! How insane is that ? I feel nice right now haha :D . I'm just glad my life is getting back to being semi-normal . I can run more, play more, and do more than I could do a few weeks ago . I know it's supposed to take three to six months, but I feel like mine is working faster and i'm not even going to complain because it's actually good news . This air conditioner is blowing all on my back, i'm all chilly and stuff . My dog Raven just jumped in my life and started sniffing the computer, weird animal . She also smiles, she's more human than some people I know, shaking my head .. My doctor also took me down to only taking one half of my heart pills but I didn't feel like I needed them so I just stopped taking them . Now i'm having side effects from the withdrawal . These headaches hurt soooo bad sometimes but things always get worse before they get better so I'm going to continue to hold on ! I went school shopping today and I got some prettiful clothes (note that's not an actual word, but it should be !) . I'm excited to see my best franiker Tiffanie tomorrow ! I haven't see her since my other best friend Beverly's graduation in May :( . Well Monday on the first day of school, my fate for my senior year will be revealed . I hope I get the classes I want and get in classes with certain people :) . I'm kind of excited for this to be my last year, but I also kind of want to stay because I know I'll miss my friends and it's just some stories you just can't explain in words . High school is crazy as I don't know what, but in the end, there's always going to be one part of you, no matter how small, that's actually going to miss that place . I know I will . I'm already looking forward to prom next year and I haven't even started the first day of school yet lol . On May 24, 2013, I will have officially graduated from high schools . I already know that i'm going to break down and cry as soon as I put on that cap and gown . I'm going to be so tore up like I was this year . I KNOW i'm going to break down looking at the senior slideshow at senior awards day . I'm going to be a complete mess when it's all over haha :'D . I'm attending a community college in the fall of 2013 and transferring to the University of Alabama to pursue degrees in endicrinology, medicine/surgical technologies/, and psychology . I'm also a organ donor because even when i'm gone, I might be able to save someone else's life . With that said i'm going to end this with a quote : "God has perfect timing ; never early, never late . It takes patience and faith, but it's worth the wait ."
Friday August 17, 2012 7:26 p.m. CDT

Don't Complain ...

I had a conversation with a friend a few days ago and they were talking about how their hours had got cut at work . At that point, they continued to say "why does everything bad always happen to me ?" They didn't know about my thyroid condition and so I told him "you don't know what bad is, atleast you have a normal life . Almost everyday  is a struggle for me . I'm going through withdrawal from my medicine I was on, I stay sick, my doctor really doesn't care about me, and my thyroid levels go up and down repeatedly . But you know what, you won't ever here me complaining because it is diseases out here in the world that are wayyyyyy worse than what I have, atleast I don't hae cancer and other things of that nature . Everyday I wake up is a blessing to me . Be happy that your healthy and the worst thing going on in your life is getting your hours cut at work . Don't complain ." He then said,"i'm sorry to hear that and I feel bad to know your going through something that's clearly worse than what i'm going through and i'm complaining about this ." But in other news, I've been EXTRA moody lately ! I've started arguments for no reason, then I feel like crying, then i'm wild and crazy . It's kinda like PMS (thde girls know what I mean) haha . I'm beginning to feel better but today i'm sick :( and it's been raining out since about noon . I really hope it doesn't rain Saturday because it's going to be my birthday :D . Well anyways, I need some rest so i'm about to lie down with my dog Raven for a little nap time :) Monday August 13th, 2012 4:23 CDT

No More Medication !

Well as of yesterday, I'm not on any medications ! My heart rate was 86bpm and my blood pressure was fine so he told me I didn't have to take my heart and blood pressure anymore . He told me I have to start coming back for regular blood tests to make sure my thyroid levels are going back to normal but in a few months, I may have to start taking medicine to replace part of my thyroid that was killed off . But as of right now, i'm good ! I actually do feel better and I feel like I can do more stuff . Since my thyroid is still kind of messed up, it making me gain weight then losing weight over and over again ! It does suck when you don't know what size clothes to get anymore because one week you gain five pounds and the next week you lose ten . I just wish the weight would stay off . I'll end up gaining weight if my thyroid gets hypoactive so I've already started exercising and watching what I eat so that I won't gain too much weight . I'm happy to finally feel like normal again and i'm blessed to feel like this right now . When I got my blood drawn yesterday, I didn't even feel it ! I told my nurse one day, I'll be strong enough to watch you draw my blood, just not today lol . She laughed at me and said atleast your not holding your mom's hand or crying, I was like yeah , i'm a big girl now ! Lol . I'm waiting on my next doctor's appointment next month so he can tell me what my TSH levels are and what range their in . The night before I went to the doctor, I prayed to God to tell the doctor to give me some good news and he came through on it . Since I was on medication , my mama would buy me this huge Hawaiian Punch to take my medicine with since I couldn't take it with water . When I woke up this morning, I was like OH SNAP ! I get to drink that Hawaiian Punch now since I don't have any medicine ! I filled my bottle all the way up to the top ! You feel me right ? I was sipping all on it ! Lol but anyways i'm glad that i'm still here living my life and encouraging people with the same disease as me that everyday isn't always bad, you do have good days and good news . It's not just bad news and bad days, I used to feel like that but now I know better . Hopefully I can spend more time with friends and not be sick and in bed all the time, I hope my senior year just flies on by :D ! If I didn't have this disease, I would've NEVER known how strong I could or would ever be ..
Friday August 10, 2012 4:12 p.m. CDT

I'm Wide Awake

Yeah so this Graves' Disease is seriously messing with my sleep and me functioning . I couldn't remember my password to my blog and I forgot how to spell some words . If I were to go to sleep right now, I'd be up again in less than six hours sleepy again but wouldn't be able to go back to sleep . I used to go to sleep at 10pm and wake up at 8 am . I miss those good ole days . You guys don't know how to feels to be sleep deprived and you have to work on stuff at the same time . I forgot how to spell my name today when I was putting it in my scrapbook my aunt got me . I felt so flustered and just embarassed that I couldn't spell MY OWN NAME ! Well I go to the doctor's office tomorrow and hopefully he'll give me something to help me sleep for atleast 8 hours, I need all the sleep I can get . My birthday is in 10 days, yeah budddddddyyyyy and I have NO idea what I want to do either -_- . I was at my grandma's house yesterday and I fell asleep on the glass table and woke up quickly with some disorientation, that's just how tired I am . I'm so ready for this to go away and I have quite a few views on my blog now so I know someone knows my story and what i'm going through . I try to blog everyday but it's hard when it's three other people in the house . I just want to be a NORMAL teenager again . Going out with friends, partying, going to the movies, walking around the park, and if I had a boyfriend, go on dates . But instead of laying on the couch or in the bed sick feeling horrible and sorry for myself . I hate to talk about my Graves' Disease to people because I feel like i'm bothering them and i'm getting on their nerves but some people need to realize I can't do everything I used to . I tried to take out the trash and my arm almost fell off ! That's very unusual for a person like me who could used to take out the trash in heels, yep you saw it right, HEELS ! I can't stand up for a long time without my legs hurting or getting craps, just holding up this laptop to take the picture above made my arms feel like I've been lifting boxes in a warehouse for twenty hours straight ! I can't ride my bike for a block without feeling like my heart is going to burst in my chest, I can't run without passing out, and I can't walk for a long time either . I still don't have my P.E. credit but hopefully Sgt. Major will let me take JROTC and he won't be as hard on me since I can't do everything everyone else can . It makes me feel like a misfit and an outcast when I can't do something . I was in my food and nutrition class and my hands were shaking so bad, I couldn't even ice a cake and people were just staring at me like what's wrong with her, this was before it was known to anyone but a few close friends . But you know what, that cake was still good ! I brought it home and tore it up :D ! Mrs. King is one of the sweetest teachers you will ever meet in your life but some people take advantage to her and don't treat her right . It makes me mad . But anyways it's currently 6:49 in the morning and I might be going to Tifa's church today and spending the night if mama lets me :D . I miss her and we HAVE to take pictures ! I have 16 more blank pages for pictures in my scrapbook and i'm ready to fill it up with pictures from my senior year . You all pray for me please, I need all the prayer I can get, this disease really is something serious and I really can't say that enough to save my life ..
Wednesday August 8, 2012 6:51 a.m. CDT

Sick As Usual ..

Well today is one of those days again . I went to eat over my grandma house, came home, went to sleep and when I woke up, I had the worse feelings . I felt like I had to vomit, I felt lightheaded, I felt like I standing above everything, and I just felt so crazy . I had to eat some saltine crackers very slowly and sip on a soft drink to get my stomach to settle down . I go to my next doctor's appointment tomorrow and I'm actually pretty nervous . I want to hear good news but it probably won't be good . Honestly, I don't like my doctor . A week before I got my treatment, he decided to tell me if I don't get a birth control shot, he's not giving me my treatment, I proceded to say "I'm not sexually active". And this smart mouth man had the audacity to tell me," It doesn't matter if you were the virgin Mary, I would still have you on birth control ." I almost smacked  him ! You don't put my religion in something like that and he was laughing like it was funny ! I need to find another thyroid specialist quick, fast, and in a hurry because he's not working . One day Tiera came with me and she was laughing at his head because his head was balding and he tried to do the comb over on it ! I was laughing my butt off so hard ! Then while he was talking to me, Tiera pointed at a sick kidney on a diagram and pointed to my mama acting like it was her and I almost died laughing ! She so mean lol but I love her :D . I have 10 days left until my birthday ! Yay :D . I've been scrapbooking, reading books, watching tv, and sleeping to pass the days until i'm my normal self again . I know it's only at 10% to 25% that my thyroid will go into remission, but I pray that it happens . I'm looking forward to getting better real soon . I can't afford to miss any days this year, at my school, if you miss one day of school, it's like missing two ! But I have to remember : "Things always get worse, before they get better ."
Wednesday August 8, 2012 1:42 a.m. CDT

In Sickness && In Health

Well I wouldn't say today was one of my best days nor would I say that it's one of my best . I've been feeling a little sick but my stomach has stopped burning and the headaches have stopped . I now have a total of 59 views ! Thank you for reading my blog people ! When I started this, it was just to get my feelings out and let people know me and the real struggle against Graves' Disease . You HAVE to have three things : God, Patience, && Hope for better days . I have all of the above and some ! Okay ? Lol . I've actually been feeling better and I have my first doctor's appointment after my RAI treatment Thursday, ewwwww, the doctor's office ! I pray to God that there is going to be some good news so I can feel better about myself, but i'm not so sure about taking the synthroid after all the reactions I've seen about it . A doctor from the Mayo Clinic said if you don't take it for 6 weeks, you can go into a coma ! Are you kidding me ?? Seriously ?? I was talking to my friend Xavier last night && we were discussing relationships, and it made me think, who in their right mind would marry a girl like me with a disease she's going to have for the rest of her life ? Right now I don't even know if they exist , but I do know I need to get better before I go looking . I'm planning on attending NWSCC in the fall of 2013, transferring to the University of Alabama to pursue a doctorates in medical and surgical technologies, endicrinology, and psychology . I'm a girl from a small town in northern Alabama with big dreams, but I gotta get outta here ! Lol . The people around here worse and worse everyday and try to bring everyone down . I refuse to let anyone bring me down anymore . I've tore down, hurt, took advantaged up, and mistreated but i'm putting my foot down now and saying no more ! I've made mistakes in my life, but then again, who's perfect ? I've said questionable things, I've hurt people's feelings, and said stupid stuff to people but do I wish I could take them back ? Some of it, but mostly no, because at that point in time, that was EXACTLY how I felt and I said what I said, you can't turn back time everytime you do something wrong . It just doesn't work like that, we're all humans . Live your life with NO regrets and don't worry about what people have to say about you in the end because people will talk about you until the day you die and some people will still talk about you after that ! I had to learn that the hard way, trust me . I hope that my story encourages people not to be afraid and dive in, just make sure that it's what YOU want, not what SOMEONE else wants . Be brave, be courageous, have God .
Monday August 6, 2012 9:44 p.m. CDT

Church, Birthday && Senioritis !

Well I went to church today and my brother got saved ... yay ! I hope he lasts because everybody needs God . My pastor know he was preaching today even though I almost went to sleep three times because of my meds . In 15 days, I will be a senior ! I'm so ready go back and see all my friends, I can't believe i'm a senior now . If I start acting crazy around you all, I have senioritis lol :D . I'm so excited to get it over with but I know it's going to be some drama, as usual, I mean come on it's high school . Oh and by the way, since they passed this law saying birth control shots and pills are free now, I hope their won't be as many pregnant girls around here this year, me and Beverly saw A LOT of pregnant girls down in Bessemer and Birmingham yesterday, and I do mean A LOT . And I was thinking about moving down there, pshht, I don't think so . I thought about Huntsville, until I went to their mall . Those girls were dressed like PROSTITUTES, especially those EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA large girls with their WHOLE stomach out, that is NOT cute and whoever told them that, is W R O N G for that ! I'm not trying to talk about somebody or act like i'm the smallest girl in the world but I know how to dress for my body size and shape . They know better . They need prayer . Well today was a pretty good day for me and my thyroid, except for when I woke up . I felt so tired, weak, and I forgot to wash my hair since I had all that chlorine from that pool in it, yuck ! I did my hair for my senior pictures today, I'll post a pic with this . Well it's thirteen more days until my birthday and I'll turn 17, my mom's baking me a confetti cake with lemon icing, yummy :D ! I have no idea what I want for my birthday and it's actually kind of weird to me . I'll probably just ask for some new dresses and clothes since school starts on August 20th . <----- I'm actually kind of excited and sad about that . I know that I'll eventually miss high school when I graduate but not right now . It's full of drama, fake people, noisy people, and some people that are actually cool, including myself and my friends Tiffany, Ashley, Lyric, Tiera, Candace, etc . Well in October, it'll be my one year anniversary of surviving Graves' Disease . I've been through a lot this year, and I've been sooooo stressed out . But I've found that writing on this blog instead of holding it in, is a stress reliever and it's been easier to accept things I can't control and look at things from a new perspective . Well I've got some stuff to do but remember this, If you don't have anything to be thankful for in your life, check your pulse !
Sunday August 5, 2012 11:23 p.m. CDT

Don't Judge Me

Well before I go to sleep, I have one more issue to address . It mainly deals with school . Well in 2009-2011, before I knew I had Graves' Disease, my hair would fall out and I didn't know why, earlier this year, I found out that Graves' Diseases CAUSES HAIR LOSS . I was made fun of at school, people would call my bald-headed, touch my hair because it was short, laughed at me, and just talked about me in general . So in 2011 I started wearing weave in my hair, hoping that they would stop teasing me, I was wrong because it got even worse . They made fun of the type of hair I had my head because it wasn't this much amount of money, it wasn't this color, it wasn't this style, I got to the point where I was getting so upset and frustrated, I wanted to change schools and stay at home somedays . I would even pray to God crying asking Him to make them leave me alone . Some people are just so low and pathetic it makes no sense to me, why their around . I just felt so bad, sad, and pitiful about myself and asked God why He makes me go through what I go through, but then I realized, God has a plan for EVERYONE , you can choose to follow the path or choose your own, but i'm trying my hardest to follow the path He made for me . Before my treatment, my hair loss was so bad, I had bald spots and some of my edges were gone, I was ridiculed for having a disease . You wouldn't treat a cancer patient like that, so what's the difference . Your ALWAYS supposed to treat others how you want to be treated but it's this saying I've always remembered "God doesn't like any ugly, inflict hurt upon someone else and hurt will come back upon you ." But i'm happy to say that my hair is starting to grow back a month after my RAI treatment . All my bald spots are gone, my edges are back, but your can still see a few parts where my hair is shorter but by my God, it's growing ! My lesson of the day is don't judge someone based on their outer appearance because :

1. You have no idea what they go home to everyday
2. You don't know if they have a disease or disorder
3. You don't know every detail about them and you never will

I've learned to stop judging because it's not right and it's not my job . I leave you with these thought while I ATTEMPT to sleep again . Sweet dreams, God bless you, and think about what your saying or doing, BEFORE you do it, you never know what the outcome will be or how they'll react, you'll never know so why risk it ?

Saturday August 4, 2012 4:14 a.m. CDT

Vampire Life :(

So for the last couple weeks, I've been going through withdrawal from my methimazole, the medicine that slows down how much iodine my thyroid takes in . I've had terrible pounding headaches in both my temples, some pain in my left, rashes, increased anxiety, but some good news is that the tremor in my hands are basically gone now . On top of all that, I lost my ibuprofen ! Way to go Erial . My appetite has seriously took a downfall, I used to have such an appetite and end up losing weight, not gaining a pound ! You make think that's fun but, uh no, it's really not . You gain the weight back and then your clothes don't fit right and then it's just a complete mess ! Oh and I found out why my stomach was burning this morning ! According to my grandmother Dr. Wilson (bahahaha), I haven't been eating enough, but my digestive system is still working so it's basically eating my stomach lining -_- and even when I don't feel hungry, I need to keep something in my stomach . Otherwise, i'll be vomiting bile, that just sounds nasty .. I found that my muscle cramps and muscle aches are also because of my withdrawal and that in some patients, loss of muscle tissue can actually occur ! I think I need to drink some milk, or better yet, ICE CREAM !!!! Haha :D . Ugh well I have to get up at 6 to get ready to leave at 7:30 with Beverly && her family to Bessemer . A two hour car ride is deff not ideal for right now considering I get 4 to 6 hours of a sleep a day . School's about to start and I KNOW I won't be able to function while going through withdrawal and this my senior year, the year that counts the most ! I have to get it together and persevere and strive to do my best even though this thyroid disease tries it's hardest to bring me down, with that said, i'm going to ATTEMPT to go to sleep . Remember that when life knocks you down on your knees, your in the perfect position to pray .
Saturday August 4, 2012 3:55  a.m. CDT

Road Trip !!

Well tomorrow i'm going to Bessemer, Alabama with one my best friends/sisters Beverly . We're going to Splash Adventure waterpark . When I went last year, it was just Alabama Adventures but they decided to get rid of the theme park ! So foolish of them but anyways ... They have this AH-MAZING wave pool called Kahuna Waves, it sends out 4 feet waves, glad i'm 5'8 :), sorry short people ;( ! And my mama got me some pretty blue swim shorts with Hawaiian flowers on them :D ! Lol but anyways, there other rides or attractions as people call them are : the Acapulco Drop (haha not for me, you get dropped down 9 stories !) , Neptune's Plunge (manuvering through dark tunnels, again that's a no no for me), Salamander Bay (is a water activity where kids can slide down waterfalls, awuh the cute little kids eventhough some of them are bad -_- ), Splashdown is a 50ft plunge into a splash pool (again Noooooo !, i'm not brave enough ), Upsurge (you climb up this 5 story tower and drop and slide 216 ft, I am NOT able haha; as you can see i'm a pretty scary person), Mist-ical Maze (going through a maze with countless twists and turn with unexpected downpours, spouts and showers; my kind of attraction :), Warrior River ( a very relaxing ride, also called the lazy river that has a waterfall and a downpour, you can use an inner tube or you can walk or swim through, be careful of other passengers though !), Zip Line that takes you down from three stories (not scary at all haha :D ), and last but not lease the Wipeout Adventure Course, the world's first 360 degree interactive water-based obstacle course, the Wipeout Adventure Course sends guests through a series of ropes, towers, and bridges where they control a variety of geysers and sprayers and hand and foot activated water elements (sounds fun too !) . I'm not sure if sitting in the backseat of an Acura for 2 hours will be fun though but I'll make the most of us in the end, as long as i'm there with my best friend, it doesn't matter where we are, we're going to have fun regardless . I just hope it doesn't rain on us :( . Love you Beverly <3 !
Friday August 3, 2012 9:09 p.m. CDT

Just One of Those Days..

Well today is just one of those days . I haven't been to sleep because my thyroid won't let me and I have this mild burning sensation in my abdomen . I haven't slept since about 10 am yesterday . Yesterday I was dehydrated and had to drink a 64oz Gatorade to be able to regain my strength, I could barely talk or pick up the bottle and it was heavy . I can't stand being in a state of sickness all the time, and on top of that, I have terrible anxiety . I'm kind of excited for today because when my mom gets off work. today, she's going to take me to get the rest of my clothes for my senior pictures Monday, 2013 baby ! My phone just scared the crap out of me by going off at 6:56 in the morning haha :) . I was looking up research on I-131, the radioactive material I recieved and it said .... I lost my train of thought but anyways.. Right now I feel lethargic, dazed, very cold, sleepy, having a couple muscle aches, and delirious . I can barely understand what i'm doing . I just have to remember the saying: "God won't bring you to it, if He can't bring you through it !" It's supposed to rain so I should lie down and take it easy and hopefully fall asleep haha, night ! God granted me the serenity to accept the things I can't change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference .
Friday August 3, 2012 7:07  a.m. CDT

What is Graves' Disease ?

Graves' Disease is an autoimmune disease where the thyroid is overactive, producing an excessive ammount of thyroid hormones . This is caused by thyroid autoantibodies that activate the TSH-receptor, thereby stimulating thyroid hormone synthesis and secretion, and thyroid growth . The resulting state of hyperthyroidism can cause a dramatic constellation (a group) of neuropsychological and physical signs and symptoms . Graves' Disease is the most common cause of hyperthyroidism (60-90% of all cases) and usually presents itself during midlife but also appears in children, adolescents, and the elderly . Graves' Disease has no cure, but treatments for its consequences are available . Mentally, Graves' Disease can be very disturbing . Mood swings, thinking impairment and other mental symptoms can be difficult to handle . The onset of Graves' Disease symptoms is ofter insidious, the intensity of symptoms can increase gradually for a long time before the patient is correctly diagnosed with Graves' Disease, which may take months or years . A hyperthyroid person will usually develop a preference for cold weather, a desire for less clothing and less bed covers, and a decreased ability to tolerate hot weather and may have excessive sweating, high pulse during sleep, and a pattern of weight loss with increase appetite .

Symptoms include : anxiety , irritability, difficulty sleeping, fatigue, hair loss, rapid or irregular heartbeat, tremor in hands or fingers, increase of sweating , sensitivity to heat, weight loss, enlargement of the thyroid gland, frequent bowel movements of diarrhea .

Side effects after RAI treament (I-131) include: sore throat, fatigue, lethargy, rash, hives, anemia and a reduction of white blood cells .

Surviving Graves' Disease

In October of 2011, it was a normal day, until I went to 2nd block AlgebraII . I arrived at my 2nd block class AlgebraII and I sat down . I sat down for a few minutes, and my chest started hurting and I felt as if I couldn't breathe . I told my teacher that I was having chest pains and asked to go the nurse, she said yes and a fellow student (thank you Da Da !) accompanied me . We arrived at the nurse's office and she asked me what was wrong, I told her I was having chest pains and I felt like I couldn't breathe . My heart rate was 150 bpm, normal is 80-90 bpm . I was really scared . She asks who I could call and since my mother was at work, I gave her my grandmother's number . My grandmother took me to the ER at the nearest hospital . We sat there for almost 4 hours ! until we finally decided to leave . Later that day when I got home, my mother scheduled for me to have a doctor's appointment the next morning . I told the doctor my symptoms : chest pains, trouble breathing, dizziness, and I kept saying I was hot all the time . The doctor ordered me to go to the hospital part of the building and had blood tests done . I guess my levels weren't right so I was referred to Dr. Syed, again I had more blood tests and they referred me to another doctor, Dr. Ahmed, an endicrine specialist . I had bloodwork done AGAIN . While I was waiting, the doctor had a model of the different thyroid diseases and I kept staring at Graves' Disease model . After awhile, my doctor returned and told me that I was diagnosed with Graves' Disease, I started crying . Soon after I was put on two medications : Methimazole, methimazole is an antithyroid medication that can help bring high thyroid levels under control and works to disrupt the production of thryroid hormone and can also lower the white blood count in your body ; and Propranlol, prpopranlol is used to treat chest pains, high blood pressure, irregular heartbeats, migraine headaches, tremors and other conditions . I used those for awhile and I went back to the doctor in January to discuss long-term treatment . He told me in about 6 months, we decide on a treatment . In June of 2012 we decided to have the RAI treatment done . On June 27, 2012, I took RAI uptake pill to measure how much iodine my thyroid was absorbing , I went back to the hospital the next day on June 28, 2012 for my thyroid scan, a normal thyroid is supposed to absorb 20 to 30% . Later that day, my doctor called and told me that my thyroid was absorbing nearly 100% of the iodine and that my treatment would be the next day June 29, 2012 instead of the upcoming Monday . I was shocked and upset . I went to the doctor, got all my forms and headed to ECM hospital, my nuclear medicine technologist Karen (bless her heart ), was so sweet . She knew I had trouble swallowing a big pills so she drove all the way to Mississippi and got me the liquid form of the radiation, I owe her BIG time . She stuck a needle through the radioactive liquid container and the other end has a straw to put in my mouth . There was a doctor supervising the treatment (he was soooo cute !) . When I began to swallow it, she injected Sprite into my tube so the taste wouldn't be as bad . The whole thing took about 5 or 10 minutes . After we were done, she gave me the rest of the Sprite and air hugged me since she couldn't touch me . I had to stay with my grandmother for 3 days because I had younger siblings and a dog . During the whole ordeal, all I did was sleep, eat, and use the restroom . Some side effects I had were nausea, headaches, sore throat, dizziness, restlessness, and sleeping for long periods of time . My best friend Beverly came to visit me :) and we looked at a few videos on YouTube and talked but she was upset because she wanted to hug me but she was also scared I would get her sick lol . On Monday July 2, 2012, I was finally able to go back home ! I missed my brothers, my dog, my mom, and just my house period, especially my bed ! It felt so weird walking through that door ! On the 4th of July I was able to walk to the river to look at the fireworks . On the way back walking to the car,  I had a few chest pains, I overexerted myself . Now today, a month and three days later, I feel better . I have good days and both days but I thank God i'm still alive ! If I wouldn't have went to the nurse that day, I would've had a stroke or heart failure . I'm so grateful that i'm still here . Sometimes I do find myself asking God why he put this terrible disease on me but then I remember that there are other people in the world with conditions worse that mine . That's when I knew that I was truly here for a reason . I hope that my story inspires someone, someday to overcome their fears and to know, it's not over yet . Have hope, Have patience, Have God .

All About Me

Well I was born on August 18th, 1995 to my mother Melinda and my father Carlos . I'm currently 16 years old but in 16 days i'll be 17 ! (yay ) I started walking when I was 6 or 7 months old ! My IQ is 122 and I could've skipped two grades but I didn't think I was ready . I'm currently a senior in high school and I plan to attend Northwest Shoals Community College for 2 years to take my basics then transfer to the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa, University of Alabama in Huntsville, or Auburn University to pursue a degrees in Medine, Surgery, Endicrinology and Psychology . I love God with all my heart and I hope to be baptized and saved by the end of this year . I'm a very fun person to be around . I love skating, texting, talking on the phone, riding around, going on road trips, spending time with my family, && SWIMMING ! I have the best friends anyone could ask for . I have 4 brothers, a sister, && a chihuahua named Raven . God, my family, && my friends are my world, nothing comes above them, especially God . When I was born my umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck && I couldn't breathe && my body started to turn blue but God saved me . Because of that I believe their is a reason that i'm here, I believe there's a reason everyone is here . I believe we should come together in the world instead of tearing each other down based on religion, sexuality, race, people have no right to judge . Only God should judge you . My favorite artists are : Christina Aguilera, Maroon 5 (I love Adam Levine !), Christina Perri, Usher, The Script, The Fray, Katy Perry, Adele, OneRepublic, Linkin Park, Keane, && Britney Spears . I do like to sing but not in front of a large crowd :D haha . But if I have to, I will . Thanks for reading !
-Erial Wilson
Thursday, August 2, 2012 11:03 p.m. CDT